Resolving Conflict
Resolving conflict is to always keep your eye on the prize. Never lose sight of your goal. We want a certain outcome but our behavior ensures we will get the exact opposite. For example: Pretend you want your partner to spend more time with you. There are several things you could do to increase the chances of this happening. Some of these include:
Plan a romantic weekend away as a surprise or a romantic dinner. However, instead of working in a logical fashion to achieve the goal, emotions tend to take over. This leads to behaviors that move you away from getting what you want. If you don't keep your goal in mind, you are more likely to:
Scream, blame, order or scorn your partner for not spending time with you. Refuse to ask for more time together because it doesn't "count" if you have to tell him/her what you want. Acts annoyed but deny that anything is wrong. Although conflict in relationships is inevitable, resolving conflict becomes much easier if you evaluate what you are trying to achieve. Then, compare your goal to your behavior. Are your actions helping you reach the desired outcome? If not, adjust your plan of action.